(The closest thing to an) Avengers Review (you’ll ever see from me)

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Well. This is awkward.

I foolishly promised an Avengers review knowing full well that this is a U.K. based website and that I’d be seeing it a full week after most of its readers. On top of that, I’m a student and was in the midst of the two busiest weeks of the year when I should have been typing this up. I find myself in a situation where I’m obligated to write a review while there’s very little to say about The Avengers that hasn’t already been said. I’ll keep this brief.

Here are the basics: Joss Whedon handled the group dynamic as well as he possibly could have. The movie clicked along smoothly, sometimes a little sterilely, but always with pizazz. Familiar faces and characters splashed across the screen to the audience’s delight and Disney and Marvel raked in massive piles of money (well above two hundred million). The colorful, action-hero-team-up gimmick managed to navigate through two hours of secret government intelligence services, rebel billionaires and alternate universes without straying into anything thought provoking. I had a blast.

That’s about it. The movies admirers and its detractors are all right on some level. Without the Whedon touch it would be completely artless, but it’s still the pinnacle of modern cinematic entertainment, so Avengers is worth seeing any way you slice it. If you think Captain America swatting a live grenade back into the offending party’s hovercraft like a five year vet stuffing a young buck in the NBA isn’t fucking awesome, you’re wrong. Simultaneously, if you think that The Avengers is a movie that will keep you thinking after you’ve left the theater, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

This movie is going to make Joss Whedon a household name. As a fan of Firefly and Doctor Horrible, I see this as being the most exciting thing to come of the whole fiasco. Comic book success can give a talented director more elbow room to pursue passion projects (Inception is brought to you by The Dark Knight) and if you thought my inner fanboy came out to see The Avengers, just wait until they announce Serenity II.

One last thing. Speaking of my inner fanboy, the night I went to see The Avengers, not only did this happen…:


Oh jeez. Oh boy.


Writes primarily as a means of avoiding eye contact.